Controlling Scars-poem

Don’t try to stop me,
from being what I am,
for helping myself
release all my pain.

It’s too much for you to see,
how your words are hurting.
They bring me down
and to you, you don’t know.

You can’t ever really know
how much I hurt inside
There aren’t the words to say,
to speak how I feel.

I wish I could show you,
give voice to what’s in me.
Or maybe even show you,
but then…it would hurt you more.

It rages in me,
holding me as its captive
and the only way to release
is to draw that blade across my skin.

The sight of all the scars scares you,
some so old, and some so new…
But I can’t fight the pain,
it won’t ever let me go.

I know I am hurting you,
and I am trying to stop.
but this, you need to understand.
I cannot control the pain.

It…
it controls me.